You and Me
by Airflow
Summary: Elliot disapers after a shocking night and now Olivia is suspected. COMPLETE
1. Default Chapter

_A/N- Ok, its just a short little fic. …kinda fluffy I know, but I really tried to make it as serious as possible while still sounding cute!_

_Disclaimer- I don't own Law and Order SVU, Dick Wolf does, and unless he miraculously decides to give the show and characters to me….they still belong to him….(sigh)….oh, and the song 'You and Me' still belongs to Lifehouse._

"_Never pretend to a love you do not actually feel, for love is ours to command." Alan Watts_

You and Me

When you have something that had been distant for so long, suddenly come so close….you can feel it. You can feel your heart stop. You can fell your eyes slowly start to water. You can feel your breath escape your lungs.

That's exactly how Detective Olivia Benson felt as her six-year partner slowly approached her from the other side of the quite elegant room. It was that most dreaded part of the year again. The annual New York City Service Dinner, (I really don't know if there is one!) basically it was a formal dinner/dance, which a whole bunch of wound up New York politicians and union workers attended. Well maybe the word 'attended' isn't right; it's more like 'forced to come by your bosses'. She still can't believe she came, I mean this morning she was just joking about it with Elliot.

Captain Cragen stepped out of his office with a grim look plastered to his face and slowly made his way over to his Detectives. "Got another case Captain?" said Elliot eagerly. "No," Cragen sighed "But I hope your not planning anything for the fourteenth."

"_Why?" said Olivia curious._

"_I know why," said Munch blandly._

"_Yeah, its that boring service dinner again, isn't it?" Fin finished._

"_Yes, and your all cordially forced to attend." Said Cragen sarcastically. As he gave them all the invites and walked back into his office exasperated._

_After a while of sitting there in silence, Elliot asked, "So, are you going?" _

_Olivia smiled and said with a laugh, "I think we kind of have too." _

"_Unfortunately," Munch mumbled._

"_Maybe it won't be that bad," said Elliot as he was given skeptical looks from his fellow detectives, "I mean all you have to do is show up, shake a few hands, and make mindless small talk for an hour or two." Said Elliot with a large grin plastered to his face as everyone chuckled at the simplicity of his theory._

Olivia smiled as she remembered how funny it was then, but she forgot the one part that wasn't so funny, dancing. Its not like she had never danced with her partner before but something was different about him tonight? Some thing that made her stare in awe every time her eyes grazed his face. Maybe it was the fact that he looked absolutely stunning in his tux, or maybe it was that carefree smile he had on tonight? He looked so happy, like for once in his life he wasn't focusing on crazed pedophiles or there scared victims.

"Hey," Elliot said smoothly as he walked up to his equally gorgeous partner, dressed in a strapless, red, satin dress that crossed at the back.

"Hey yourself looks like you've been having a lot of fun." Said Olivia with a nervous

smile as she tilted her gaze downward.

"Yeah well it seems this parties not half as boring as I thought it would be." Said Elliot with a grin as he remembered his various dances with some of his rather beautiful colleges.

Why did she feel like this around him? Her hands were sweaty and she felt like she was going to through up. She felt like some stupid love struck teenager again, trying to ask a guy to dance. She must have looked like a tight ball of nerves ready to explode, from a distance.

After a moment of silence Elliot asked, "So, are you having any fun?"

"Well besides seeing Munch spill punch all over himself, nothing really much has happened," said Olivia with a chuckle.

"I bet he just did that to have a reason to go home," said Elliot as he laughed with Olivia.

Elliot had been avoiding this question for a while and it probably was a dump idea to ask, but she couldn't help it, "Hey Elliot," said Olivia in a bit more serious tone, "Are you ok, you know…with your divorce and everything?" she asked meekly.

Elliot's face grimaced as he tilted his head toward the bright yellow lights covering the ceiling, and sighed. "Its ok, I'm dealing with it…we were only staying together for our kids anyway…" Elliot said with a frown.

"But… there's more, isn't there?" Olivia asked.

"How'd you know?" Elliot asked curious.

A small smile graced Olivia's face as she said, "I've been your partner for six years, and I think I know a bit about you by now."

Elliot decided not to beat around the bush, it would be easier that way. I mean I guess he owed her the truth after pushing her away the last couple of months. "She accused me of having an affair with you and walked out." Said Elliot, plain and simple.

Olivia was shocked; she didn't know what to say to him, if she could say anything at all. She finally understood why he had been so distant lately; being around her would only remind him of his shattered marriage and his torn kids. "Elliot…I'm so …sorry." Olivia said as she laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. She could go offer to talk to Kathy, but she knew that that would only make matters worse. And when Kathy made up her mind, she stuck to it so there's no possibility of return and that's what crushed Elliot the most. Forever lost from his kids and ex-wife. Of course he had visitation rights with the kids, but it would never be the same.

"Don't worry Liv, the marriage was moving like a slow train wreck for years now." Said Elliot.

"Yeah, but I still feel guilty as hell." Said Olivia staring down at her feet in embarrassment.

"Please it ok," said Elliot gently. What he said next was totally out of impulse and he probably shouldn't have said it at all, but he really wanted to get off of this topic. "You want to dance?" asked Elliot hopefully, holding out his hand as a brand new slow song started.

Olivia, a bit taken back at first by the randomness of the question, gracefully accepted his hand as the music started to softly play.

What day is it  
and in what month  
this clock never seemed so alive  
I can't keep up  
and I can't back down  
I've been losing so much time

As Elliot swiftly glided her to that middle of the dance floor as she warped her arms around his neck, intertwining her fingers behind his neck and brought him closer. At the same time he placed two loving hands on her hips as they slowly swayed, losing themselves in the music's moment.

They danced in silence for a moment enjoying each other's company before Olivia asked him a question, "Hey Elliot," she said with a spaced out look, staring in the direction of the other dancers, "Do you believe in fate?" Olivia asked tilting her head upward to gaze in to his crystal blue eyes.

_Cause it's you and me and all of the people  
with nothing to do  
nothing to lose  
and it's you and me and all of the people  
and I don't know why  
I can't keep my eyes off of you  
_

Elliot's brow furrowed as he asked, curious to her question, "You mean like destiny?"

"Yeah," she said confidentially, "Like the saying, 'everything happens for a reason,'"

"Well before I answer, please tell me, shy the sudden 'deepness,'" Elliot asked sarcastically. Olivia looked down at her shoes and quietly said, "I've just been thinking about the victims that come into our precinct everyday, about how cruel fate must have been to put something as vile as rape into their future," Olivia whispered as tears brimmed her eyes.

_  
All of the things that I want to say  
just aren't coming out right  
I'm tripping inwards  
you got my head spinning  
I don't know where to go from here  
_

Elliot put on a loving smile and put a gentle hand on her chin to lift her head up, "Yeah, I guess fate can be harsh sometimes," he said softly, "But sometimes out of fate's mistakes come the most beautiful triumphs,"

"Like what?" asked Olivia, with a depressing sigh.

"Like you." Said Elliot as he gazed into her huge chocolate brown eyes.

_  
Cause it's you and me and all of the people  
with nothing to do  
nothing to prove  
and it's you and me and all of the people  
and I don't know why  
I can't keep my eyes off of you  
_

That was it he had just broken an invisible wall that was never meant to be broken, or so everyone thought. Why did Elliot have to cross that line? With just two words he made her life all the more complicated. With his second of relaxation and comfort of not worrying about rule and regulations, he just jeopardized their partnership and everything it stood for, professionalism. "Elliot please, don't go there," she whispered, her eyes still locked with his. "Why not," he said with a carefree smile, "It's the truth isn't it?"

_  
There's something about you now  
I can't quite figure out  
everything she does is beautiful  
everything she does is right  
_

What was wrong with him tonight? He seemed so in the moment, like nothing else mattered except the 'here' and 'now'. His six-year longing was blinding him to the consequences of tomorrow. "El your obviously too drunk," said Olivia, her common reasoning kicking in, "You don't know what your saying." Olivia said almost trying to convince herself that he didn't mean it. "That's where your wrong Olivia," said Elliot never breaking contact with her eyes, fearing he might break the connection, "I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

_  
You and me and all of the people  
with nothing to do  
nothing to lose  
and it's you and me and all of the people  
and I don't know why  
I can't keep my eyes off of you  
_

Olivia was in too much shock to speak. "You know, when Kathy left I didn't even try to stop her because in a sense, she was right. I was having an affair with you maybe not physically, but emotionally…" Elliot began to say but Olivia interrupted him, "Elliot please…don't," she whispered hoarsely. But that wasn't going to stop him, he was on a roll finally confessing what he had wanted to say for six years, "I've never been more in love with you." He finished.

_  
You and me and all of the people  
with nothing to do  
nothing to prove  
and it's you and me and all of the people  
and I don't know why  
I can't keep my eyes off of you _

Olivia was awe struck by what he just said. Did he just confess his love to her? She slowly unwrapped her arms from around his neck and silently started to back away from the man she had always adored. She needed some time to think about what had just happened, but concluding from what happened next Elliot wasn't going to give her that time.

_What day is it  
and in what month  
this clock never seemed so alive_

As she quietly turned to walk away, she felt a soft but warm grip grab her wrist and turn her around to meet in a gentle kiss. She was in complete surprise by his eager approach, but she soon adjusted to the kiss as she accepted it and wrapped her arms lovingly around his neck. Elliot also placed his hands around her waist as they deepened the kiss. After a second or two they both pulled away to gaze deeply into each other's eyes. And for that second there was just them, no rules, no regulations, no tomorrow, just today. And for today there was just them.

_A/N- So anyway please review! I LOVE reviews! But please….no flames!_

_Yours till Evil Snowmen kill me,_

Truly Insane 


	2. Without an Umbrella

_A/N- this is the second chapter! Mostly thoughts from inside Olivia's head, but still kewl. I wasn't going to make this into a story originally, it was only supposed to be one shot, but thanks to your reviews I decided to turn it into a story! Sorry if it's a little unstructured, but I'm I making it up as I go!_

_Disclaimer- I don't own Law and Order SVU, Dick Wolf does, and unless he miraculously decides to give the show and characters to me…. they still belong to him…. (Sigh)…._

Olivia Benson woke up the next morning feeling very queasy. She probably had a hangover. She wobbled out of bed and started to walk toward her bathroom, clutching her stomach. She came to a dead halt as her stomach gave a loud grumble, and she sprinted into the bathroom, dumping the contents of last nights dinner into the toilet. Yes, she definitely had a hangover.

She lifted her head up from the now disgusting toilet and started to wobble out of the bathroom into her room, still feeling uncomfortably nauseous. How the hell did she get this drunk? She leaned against her dresser and started to contemplate the events of last night. First, she arrived at the ball in the most beautiful dress imaginable, and totally blew Elliot out of the water. Second, she danced with some overly arrogant, mindlessly, macho cops. And third, Elliot confessed his love to her in the loveliest way possible. …Well, that must have been a pretty boring night, she thought as she walked toward the bathroom to find some aspirin.

She was about halfway to the bathroom when it finally hit her, "What?" she said out loud, coming to a dead stop. Elliot had done what again, _confessed his love? _Either she had just dreamed that happening from a really bad hangover, or Elliot really did love her. She was hopping for the second conclusion she had made. Of course it surprised her, but she would have accepted his emotions fully because for a while now she had loved him too, and would give anything for him to feel the same way. But he had had a wife for twenty years and she had to respect that, but now that she was gone… what was stopping her? Nothing! And if what she thought really happened, then I guess her dreams were finally coming true!

She began to think about taking an aspirin but then waved the idea off quickly. Cause that would only make her tired at work, and if the whole precinct saw her and Elliot's little scene last night… well we all know the conclusion they'd make, and that didn't happen. At least she thought. This was not good, she had to get to work and find out what happened last night from Elliot, or there might be some serious consequences.

Olivia stumbled out of the bathroom and changed into some respectable work cloths. By the time she was ready to leave she seemed almost perfectly awake and sober, although still nursing a mild hangover from last night. She briskly walked out of her room and into the kitchen, grabbing a power bar for breakfast and slipping her cell phone into her coat pocket. She might have had a bad hangover and a headache, but she still had a job to do and she was still going to do that as normally as she could, no matter what was going on between her and Elliot.

As she was walking out of her apartment and into the junky third floor elevator, she had a bad feeling that something terrible was about to happen. She felt her stomach churn and her breath escape from her body. Either she was getting sensations about a terrible event in the future, or that was just the remains of her hangover acting up again. She went with the hangover theory, one cause it was about a hundred times more believable and two, cause she never was a person to believe in superstition. 'Never have and never will,' she thought as she walked out of the building and towards her car.

But as hard as she tried to shake the feeling it wouldn't go away. She sighed deeply as she turned her keys and plopped herself down into the driver's seat, all the time feeling that a terrible dark storm was approaching and she was going to be caught right in the middle of it, without an umbrella.

_A/N- sorry that this is kinda a short and boring chapter, but I promise the next chapter is going to be WAY more exciting! There is so much more action on the way! _

_Like always please read and review!_


	3. Nightmares

A/N- Thank you so much for all your awesome reviews! I totally appreciate the comments! Please tell me if this chapter is more exciting!

_P.S.- The stuff in italics are her memories!_

_Disclaimer- I don't own Law and Order: SVU….please don't rub it in._

Olivia quickly exited the elevator and began to walk towards her desk, she was trying her best not to run but it was hard. The whole car ride her mind had been bombarding her with questions to ask to Elliot, and playing out scenarios of what might have happened last night. So by the time her car pulled up to the precinct she was so eager to get answers she could have sprinted up the stairs. But she had to control her anxiousness right now, so instead she substituted sprinting with a classic speed-walk.

As she rounded the corner and stepped into the now bustling bullpen, her eyes immediately flew to Elliot's desk. She expected to find him there next to a foot tall stack of paper work, reading a ten-page packet and chewing on his pen cap. But much to her surprise, she didn't. Everything on his desk was exactly where it was supposed to be, except him. She curiously glanced at the clock behind her it was fifteen after eight. Usually she would think he just woke up late and blow it off, but something this time seriously started to worry her.

"Hey John, has Elliot come in yet?" she asked quiz fully.

"No I don't think the lug has clocked in yet," said John playfully, "Probably caught up in traffic."

"Yeah," Olivia mumbled reassuring her.

She took at seat at her desk and tried to begin some of her mile- high, stacked paperwork. She didn't notice but her pencil was racing up and down in her hand nervously, and then finally it swinging out of control in her hand and fly to the other side of the room. This gesture did not go un-noticed by Munch or Fin, "Uh, are you ok Olivia?" said Fin unsure about what had really just gone on. "Yeah," said Olivia standing up to get her pencil, "It's just that—" she began but was interrupted by Captain Cragen's loud voice booming form his office as he walked into the middle of the bullpen, "We got another case people," he said blandly, no-one moved, "Look alive!" he shouted as a few young officers immediately jumped to attention.

Cragen sighed, shaking his head at the lack of his superiority, 'Well, I think this is the best amount of attention I'm going to get,' he thought as he began to explain the details of the case. "Rape-homicide down in Manhattan," Cragen said handing them each a file, "Olivia and Elliot I want you to go check out the crime scene, Munch and Fin will go handle the witness at the hospital."

"Witness…we have a witness," said Munch rather happy at there good luck.

"Yeah well, he got a bullet to the chest and another rather nice one to a leg," said Cragen gravely, "So I really don't know if we still actually _have_ a witness,"

"Great," said Fin sarcastically.

"Just go before this guy dies," Cragen told his detectives.

"Got ya Cap," said Munch as he and Fin headed toward the elevator and out of the bullpen.

As Fin and Much walked out Olivia walked up to the Captain, "Um, Elliot's not—" but he cut her off once again before she could finish, putting a hand up to silence her.

"Here, I know I'm not blind." Said the Captain, "Just find him and head over to the crime scene," he said with an exasperated sigh as he walked back to his office and slammed his door shut. Olivia winced slightly at the crash of the door, he was mad.

"Right…" Olivia silently whispered as she grabbed her coat off the hanger and walked toward the elevator. But something in her mind told her that _finding_ Elliot was going to be harder than she thought.

She walked out of the precinct only to be greeted by an alarmingly cold breeze, thrown her way with mid-winter's blessings. Wrapping her coat around herself tightly she hurriedly found her car and quickly jumped in. She took out her keys clumsily and had trouble finding the right one because her hands were shivering so much. Starting the car, she immediately turned on the heat and turned the radio to a classy blues station.

Olivia didn't know where to start looking for Elliot because his cell was turned off, but I guess I good place to start would be his new apartment. She zoomed out of the precinct parking lot and started heading in the direction of his place.

As she drove along the music from last night began to play in her head, she faintly remembered some of it and as she stopped at the red light the memories like a flood, invaded her mind….

_They slowly broke away from the breath-defying kiss and took a second to capture their breaths. Olivia was so excited; in that one kiss Olivia had seen their whole future coming together that is if Elliot wanted a future. Elliot leaned in once again, Olivia expecting another kiss but then he leaned off toward her ear, "Come with me," he whispered softly, Olivia feeling his warm breath on her ears. And with that he put his hand on the small of her back and led her out into the water garden, which was secretly hidden from the rest of the crowd, tucked away in the corner. When Olivia arrived at the garden its beauty blew her away._

_"Elliot it's gorgeous," she breathed her eyes examining it carefully. There was a fountain of water shooting up from the ground all around and there where roses of all colors elegantly placed around them, they were like the border to the perfect picture. The water flew up at all different times in the most beautiful, but simple patterns imaginable._

_"Just like you," He mumbled looking at her big chocolate brown eyes, now swelled up with tears. He silently leaned in for another passionate kiss when…._

Olivia woke up from her trance with a gasp looking at the scene around her. She was in the car again? But how, wasn't she just in that garden with Elliot? The sound of car horns in back of her reminded her that she had been sitting at a red light for about two minutes now.

She quickly put the petal to the metal and was at Elliot's place in no time. She stepped out of the car with the fimiliar cold winds hitting her face, and walked up to the building hitting the buzzer for his apartment. Bzzzz. Bzzzz. No answer, 'Dam Elliot where the hell are you?' she thought rubbing her hands together, trying to keep warm.

She suddenly remembered about the spare key Elliot had gave her in case of emergencys. She reached into her pocket and pulled the key out looking at it for a minute, 'Is this really an emergency?' she contemplated and then thought, 'screw it.' And opened the door. Opening the door she immediately spotted the evevator and quickly made her way towards it. She stepped inside and pressed the number four, waiting patiently as it rised and listening to annoying elevator music.

She stepped out of the elavator and calmly walked over to Elliot's apartment door. She took some deep calming breths before using her key again to open the door. But this time, what she found she would never forget.

She was wrong this morning when she assumed her dreams were coming true, they weren't, her nightmares were.

_A/N- I DEFINITALY think this chapter was a lot more exciting! Stay tuned, its about to get a lot more action packed!_

_Please REVIEW!_


	4. Red Pen Notes

_A/N- Sorry this chapter took so long, it took a while to think of what to happen next. Anyway thanx so much for your reviews I appreciate them ALL.

* * *

_

Nothing. It was empty, everywhere, everything… was gone. The only thing that was left was the sun's dim light shinning through a small window in the now empty apartment. She couldn't believe it for a second, she had to make sure this was real. In her moment of denial she silently shacked her head, "No, no, no…" she whispered. She sprinted though the apartment shouting his mane at the top of her lungs, "Elliot! Elliot!" She looked everywhere, frantically running into every room.

When she finally realized that he was gone, she found herself where she started in the middle of the living room with the small, fragile window as her only source of light. Maybe she was still in a dream, if so she would probably wake up in a second or two, but she didn't. And what came next truly proved that this was real, tears. They slowly pored from her eyes like the acid rain it was. She didn't know what to do next, what really came next? So she did the only thing she could, she broke down. Literally. Her feet buckled under her, sending her falling to the ground. "Where the hell are you Elliot…" she whispered, letting the word hang in the air with an eerie silence following.

But what she found on the ground only scared her more, that her horrendous suspicions were coming true. A small note she hadn't noticed before, lying right next to her written neatly in a familiar red pen.

_He's gone and I have him. _

Said the note in a simply wicked manner that you could practically sense the evil coming off of it. She didn't know what to do with herself next. So she cried. For about another good half hour, before her cell phone went off with a startlingly loud ring. She looked at the front screen, it was the captain. How long had she been there? She took a few calming breaths and then with her police instincts kicking in she answers the phone with a firm, "Benson."

Instantaneously her bosses voice was booming over the phone, "Where in God's name are you and Elliot, Olivia? I had to send Munch and Fin to check on the crime scene!" he shouted, obviously very mad.

Olivia sighed deeply, still in shock from Elliot's disappearance, "We have a problem Captain."

Olivia gave an exasperated sigh as she leaned up against the front doors frame, her arms crossed across her chest. There were crime scene investigators running around like mice in a maze all throughout his apartment. Elliot would have hated this.

She watched thoughtfully as a rather young investigator with glasses to big for any case, carefully picked up the wicked note and placed it in a bag marked 'Evidence one.' This had become an official police investigation, Elliot wasn't late to work anymore… he was missing. And right there and then Olivia silently swore that she would do anything to find him. Anything.

"Excuse me," said a high-pitched, nerdy voice from behind her.

She had been blocking the door way for a couple of minutes, "Um, do you need something sir?" Olivia asked curiously.

It was rather odd for the man to show up now, especially carrying a pizza and wherein the most bizarre pizza deliver outfit she had ever seen. "Yes," he said looking at his notepad, "I have a pizza here for a Elliot Stabler,"

"Pizza?" rather suspicious of the man at the moment.

"Yup," said the man confidentially, "A pizza delivery from Ma Ma Mia's Pizza Hut!" Waving his arms in different directions and happily jumping around.

At first Olivia thought the man might be crazy but then again, maybe he was paid to act like that. "Well, do you know who put in the order?" Olivia said reaching into her back pocket for a pen and pencil.

"Of course," he said quickly scrolling through his notepad, "An Olivia Benson, do you know her?" he asked.

Olivia instantaneously stopped writing, her pen falling to the ground. "Who...?" she asked quietly.

"Olivia Benson," he answered quite clearly.

"Oh," said Olivia thinking fast, "I can take the pizza for Elliot, he's not here right now." She said grabbing the pizza out of his hands.

She began walking back into the apartment, opening the box when she heard an obvious loud cough behind her from the pizza guy. She turned around to see him with an open palm in front of him, pointing to it, "Money," he said expectantly.

"Right," said Olivia quickly as she grabbed her wallet and hurriedly rummaged through it giving him a five-dollar bill. "Keep the change," she mumbled as she turned around to open the bow, with the pizza guy now already at the elevator when she felt a slight tap on her shoulder.

She sighed deeply, rolling her eyes, "What!" she said annoyed as she turned around only to find herself face to face with her boss.

"Olivia… are you ok?" he said shocked by her anxious attitude.

"Yeah," looking downward at the pizza box, "I was just about to open this box."

"You ordered pizza?" he asked confused, "At a time like this?"

"No of course not captain," She said calmly, launching into an explanation of how she got the pizza and what she had discovered before.

"Oh," he said finally trying to take it all in, "So you think whatever's in this pizza box will help us find Elliot?"

"Exactly," she clearly said, finally opening the pizza box to be greeted with more bad news.

Another red pen note.

_I said I was running, but he wasn't coming. And after six years, he's all mine. So put your head on straight and you will see I'm as close as I can possibly be._

Olivia wanted to break down and cry again but she couldn't, not now, not here. She read the note over and over again, finally turning to her captain.

"What do you think this means?" Olivia asked fear quaking through her voice, despite her attempts to hide it.

Cragen stared down at the note in thoughtful concentration for a moment before softly whispering, "The enemy is among us…"

He turned around and silently walked away, internal affairs would want to get in on this now.

_

* * *

A/N- Anyway tell me if you find this chapter a little…boring… I tried to put a lot of emotion into it. Also please tell me if Olivia overeacted a little bit cause that would be good to know for future chapters._

_As always please review!_


	5. His Worries

**A/N- yes, this chapter is from Elliot's viewpoint so enjoy… and your welcome. Lol, just kidding! Thanks so much for your review they mean a lot. As long as you keep reviewing, I'll keep writing!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Law and Order: SVU or any of the characters! There, are you happy?**

_

* * *

She was lying there on the ground. God, she looked dead. Her face white, and eyes still open she stared at him from her resting spot on the ground. Her eyes matched her face, stone cold and…lifeless. He heard a small sound escape from her lips, 'Tick-tock, tick-tock, times running out on the clock'. He looked around to see shadowy faces pointing fingers at hear and with a beating tune as that of a clock spit the words, "guilty, guilty, guilty," over and over again like a broken record. They were mocking her, ridiculing her. He wanted to shout, he wanted to make them stop, he wanted to stop this constant state of pain she was in. But he couldn't. He couldn't move, speak or feel. He was helpless, and he hated it more than words could describe._

_Her still form slowly rose and her head drooped causing her auburn hair to fall over her chocolate eyes. Her feet levitating off the ground, she silently floated over to him. She came an inch away from his face and lifted her head from its downward position. One of her chestnut brown eyes poked through her soft hair, gazing into his pleadingly. She silently mouthed the words, 'Help me' as a forgotten tear slid form her eyes, and a dark figure hastily snatched her into the shadows._

"Olivia!" Elliot shouted shooting up from his resting place.

A dream, it was just a dream Elliot he says trying to calm down and catch his breath. Immediately his first instincts are to survey his environment, his police sense kicking in. Everything's in shadow, and there doesn't seem to be anyone around at the moment. He tries to walk around but his attempts are futile as his hands are tide insanely tight to a pole like object in back of him. Shivering slightly Elliot can hear his teeth chatter together. Must be around thirty-five degrees and he doesn't have a jacket, great. Just great, now he was going to freeze to death, 'I would much rather die from being shot' Elliot thought to himself as he sighed shaking his head at the predicament he got himself into this time.

How did he get here anyway? Elliot closed his eyes and sifted through his mind to possibly remember something. He remembered Olivia… in a red dress? And the police ball! Right, they had gone outside then….

_Bang. Black. Everything's dark but he can still hear people's voices. "Elliot!" he heard Olivia's voice scream as he felt her comforting hand stroke his face. "I knew it," snickered a feminine voice from farther away._

_"What did—what did you do?" Olivia asked resentfully, trying to choke back tears._

_"I did what I should have done long ago," the voice said wickedly, "Aww, are you going to cry?" she asked taunting Olivia._

_"Shut up!" Olivia shouted, her hand leaving Elliot's face as he felt her presence rise._

_"Ha. I don't think you're in any position to give orders here, honey." The voice snapped at her._

_"What do you want?" Olivia asked calmly trying to obviously negotiate with the voice._

_"I want your head," the voice spat out bitterly, "But I want to make you and your lover boy suffer first," she said evilly._

_"Yeah well, who do you thinks going to help you do that?" she said doubting the voices plan._

_Elliot might not have been able to see it but he felt it. A menacing grin spread across someone's face. And that person wasn't Olivia. "You are…"_

Once more Elliot found himself drenched in sweat and breath out of control, heaving up and down. Olivia was in danger he could feel it. After being best friends and partner for six years, you just know these things.

But what could he do? He was tied up in God knows where, and Olivia could be dead right now for all he knew. All he knew is that he had to get out of here and to her somehow, so he viscously began pulling at his restraints. He was going to get out of here, somehow. And he was going to save her, someway.

But little did he know, he was going to need some saving himself too.

* * *

**A/N- what did you think of this chapter? I finally took everyone's advice and wrote a chapter form Elliot's point of view! I hope you're all happy! Anyway I have a question, which chapter do you think I should put first just judging by the tittles. It 's between The Feds or All clues point to. Please tell me in your reviews because I can't post the next chapter without your answers! Oh, and one more question, can anyone tell me when they banned songfics? Cause I heard we weren't allowed to do them anymore. That sucks….**

**Well, just please review! Chao!**


	6. Left Hoping

A/N- Please tell me if the chapters are too short cause I'm trying to make them about a 1000 words each so do tell if I should make them longer. Thank you all so much for your awesome reviews! And sorry I haven't been able to update for a while but I have finals, so I probably won't be able to update for like another week so sorry much! Anyway, please enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer- I don't own Law and Order: SVU or any of the characters...blah...blah...blah...

* * *

Olivia had a pretty boring and uneventful drive back to the precinct, from an outsider's view, but in her head the questions just came coming. Who would do this? Why would anyone want to kidnap Elliot at all? That is if he was kidnapped…. What if he just left? Without telling her? No, he's not that irresponsible. Elliot's known to have a temper, but he's not that impulsive. So many questions, so little answers. Where are all the answers, most definitely where ever Elliot is.

Olivia pulled her car into the precinct parking lot; the captain said that him and the rest of the team would meet him there. She stepped out of her car locking the door behind her, as cold, whistling wind ran right into her. Briskly walking up the precinct steps she could hear her teeth chattering as she wrapped her coat tighter around herself. Entering the precinct she immediately noticed an eerie calmness set over the whole building. Almost as if a guy with a gun was going to pop out of the next corner. She laughed a little at the irony of the thought, they were in a police station everyone had a gun. Well, all the cops at least.

She pressed the elevator call button, patiently waiting as she watched the numbers count down closer to her level. She stepped into the elevator and soon it reached her level. She eagerly stepped out of the elevator and into the bullpen ready to start on the case, but much to her surprise finding it empty.

"Hello?" she asked as if expecting a replay.

She took off her jacket and hung it up on the nearby coat hanger and slowly wondered into the middle of the bullpen looking around curiously. Where were they? Maybe they went to follow up on a lead, without her? Wasn't this her case too? Or maybe they are just late; Olivia thought trying to reassure herself. Yeah that's it, they were just late so she could sit at her desk and finish some paperwork.

Olivia plopped down on her chair with a long sigh. She laughed at getting so worried now; she must be getting paranoid with this whole note thing. It startled her at first when it said '_I might be closer than you think.' _A cop, dam. What cop would want to kidnap Elliot? Obviously it was a female cop and someone who had known him for six years. The only person she could think of that fit that description was, _her._

The captain was probably down in IAB getting the third degree from two detectives dead set on finding their rouge cop. As for Munch and Fin, who knew where they were. Probably getting doughty somewhere, she should call them and tell them to get their Asses down here now cause we have an emergency. That would sure scare them. She flipped her cell phone open to be greeted by a flashing no-signal sign, she got up and started walking towards the hallway maybe there's better reception there.

Suddenly a wave of dizziness hit her as she grabbed Elliot's desk to hold her up. She held her head tight in her hands as her eyes went blurry and the world started spinning around her. Finally her legs gave out from under her and she went falling to the ground, as her world ominously became dark.

_"Me?" said Olivia in absolute confusion._

"_Yes," said the blonde standing in front of her, gun pointed at her head, "Your going to help me." _

_Olivia couldn't see the woman's face but judging by the voice it obviously was a female. There was a dark ski mask covering her face, with the tips of her sunshine yellow hair poking out from underneath it. Who ever this woman was she definitely knew Elliot, an old girlfriend perhaps? No, she knew her too. Olivia probably should have started worrying about herself then, but she was too concerned for her partner's well being at the moment._

"_Look he's hurt," said Olivia clearly, "I don't know who you are and at the moment I don't really care but you obviously know Elliot and if he doesn't get treatment soon he may bleed out." She calmly stated gesturing towards the bullet wound on his shoulder. It wasn't a spot that could kill immediately, but it definitely was a gusher. This woman had a clear shot, she wasn't trying to kill him but put him through an insufferable amount of pain. For a second Olivia thought she saw the shooter's eyes soften for a second as she glanced down on Elliot's motionless form. _

"_They'll stop by the hospital on their way over," she said._

"_Over?" Olivia said defensively, "I'm not going any ware with you."_

"_Well from the way I see it you have two options, either I shoot you now and you and your partner die or we take him to the hospital to get treatment and you get to live a bit longer." She said aggressively._

_There wasn't much of a choice was there. And it didn't take Olivia another second to decide when she heard a moan of pain escape from Elliot's lips. He was dieing, and right now she had to help him even if she would die. _

"_Fine," Olivia said finally._

"_Good," she said as a smirk spread across her face, "Now follow me there's a car waiting in the back." _

"_But what about-" Olivia began but was cut off by the woman pointing behind her._

"_He will be handled," she said airily not even turning around to see as she began walking in the other direction._

_Olivia turned around to see Elliot's body being picked up by two large looking men also carrying guns and wearing masks. They lifted him up and placed him on a gurney, wheeling him out of the garden and beyond Olivia's view. She wanted so desperately to run after him, but doing that would most likely get him killed. So silently she followed the shooter out of the garden hoping more than anything that she would see Elliot again.

* * *

_

A/N- Please tell me if you are confused at all because in the next chapter I might throw another complication at you so you just need to keep reading to stay with the story line! Please review cause they SERIOUSLY help an I love them all! Review's are good like chocolate ice cream, so keep reviewing!


	7. All clues point to

A/N- Thanks so much to all my faithful reviewers like to name a few **Moonjava, ****tapmastaflash22** **olivia100, and ****CincyRedsAllTheWay05**Anyway please keep reviewing and tell me if you like this chapter cause last time I got the most reviews for the chapter with the most dialogue so I thought I'd try it again!

Disclaimer- I don't own Law and Order: SVU or any of the characters.

As Olivia came back to consciousness she heard faint voices around her,

"Good morning sleeping beauty, what would you want for breakfast? Pancakes or waffles?"

"John?" she mumbled her eyes still closed. His voice was easy to recognize, besides who would make comments like that other than John.

"The one and only," he said dryly as she opened her eyes to be greeted by two bickering detectives, and one obviously concerned captain.

"Shut up John, no-one really want to listen to you right now." Said an annoyed Fin.

"Does anyone ever..." Olivia said, sitting up. Olivia rubbed the spot on her head that had hit the floor when she fell; it still hurt like heck and was starting to swell a little.

"You ok?" Cragen asked helping her up, "That was a pretty nasty fall."

"Yeah I'm fine," She began but then she winced as her head started throbbing more, "… maybe just some ice."

There was a pregnant silence for a second before the captain finally asked, "Why were you on the floor Olivia?"

"I- I don't know…" Olivia stumbled, "One second I was perfectly fine, and then I just got so dizzy I must have fallen and blacked out…"

"Well you know cops just suddenly blacking out isn't good," Cragen said holding out a chair for her, which she politly declined, "Maybe you should go home…." He trailed off.

"No!" Olivia said a little too fast.

"No?" Cragen said raising an eyebrow.

"I mean," Olivia, said regaining her composer, "I think I could really help here, and it would be a waste to send me home cause I'm just fine now, really."

"Well to bad cause I don't think so," Cragen said in a much more serious tone, "One: your too emotionally attached to this case. And two: You look like hell, go home and get some rest."

Olivia couldn't believe this, Elliot had gone missing and now Cragen wasn't even letting her help find him! "Captain this is Elliot, were all emotionally attached!" she said defensively.

"Not as much as you Olivia!" Cragen said raising his voice a little.

"This is crazy!" Olivia looked around foe support, "Guys?" she said eying her fellow two detectives. Munch just looked down and Fin pretended like he was preoccupied with some loose paperwork on his desk.

"I'm sorry Olivia," said the captain quietly, "It's for the best…"

"Like hell," Olivia whispered, as she grabbed her coat and stormed out of the precinct.

After a moment Fin turned around to make sure she was absolutely gone before saying, "Was that really necessary cap'?"

"Yes it was," He said looking strait into his eyes, "We can't have a suspect in here while we discuss the case."

Munch finally speaking up firmly stated, "She's not a suspect yet, there's still tons of possibilities."

"Like what?" Cragen asked standing up form his sitting position to further prove a point, "You saw all the evidence, the note with her finger prints on it-"

"She could have got that form picking it up!"

"Yeah well what about the pizza that was ordered last night in her name, when the latest note said 'I maybe closer than you think', and that she was the last one with him before he disappeared!" He finished shouting.

"I know the odds are against her, but are you looking for anyway possible to incriminate her?" John asked in surprise.

Cragen slumped back into a chair with a sigh, "No, I'm just looking for the truth…"

The three men sat there in silence for a minute, before Fin curiously asked, "Isn't there too much of a 'conflict of interest' for the guys upstairs to let us work this case?"

Cragen looked over at him, as if expecting this question for a while, "There was, but that's were I was before, talking to the police commissioner about it,"

"And?"

"Were going to have to cooperate with another team if we want to work this case," he said treading lightly, cause he knew his detectives weren't going to like this.

Munch rolled his eyes, "Great, what squadron do we have the pleasure of working with?" Sarcasm sewn in his words.

"Its not a police squad," Cragen inhaled deeply before quietly answering, "It's the Feds."

'This is totally outrageous,' Olivia thought to herself as she stormed down the sidewalk, making sure everyone got out of her way. Her own team was treating her like a child, like she wouldn't be able to control herself if she got into an interrogation room with the guy. After six years had she not even earned a little trust? Guess not. This must be how Elliot feels when she asks him if he's 'ok'? Suddenly his outbursts of rage toward her became a little understandable.

Olivia turned the corner and continued to walk, solemnly with her hands in her pockets.

She had no idea where she was going, but any ware was better than that precinct right now. Elliot's her friend, best friend… and maybe even a little more of course she was attached! But that never meant she couldn't be objective. Cragen wanted her out of there and severed from this case for other reasons, but she had a feeling that she might not want to know those reasons…yet.

It felt like everyone was against her, she felt so alone. But she had to face the facts, and they were pretty dam incriminating… of her. Is that why Cragen wanted her out? Were they really looking into her suspect? As she strolled down busy Broadway Street, she came to a defining conclusion. She was going to find Elliot, with or without their help. And she knew exactly where to start, the wife.

A/N- so, just read and review!


	8. The Feds and a Death

A/N- hilo, its me again doing the same thing…. Thanking you for all your totally wicked reviews! All you awesome people out there (you know who you are!) thanks a bundles for revewing! I know the past rewinds are a little confusing, but they go in the orders that the chapters are in! So read this and tell me what you think!

Disclaimer- I don't own Law and Order: SVU or any of the characters… don't sue me…. please.

Special Agent in charge Brian Dunkermen picked at his teeth as he impatiently waited in front of the sixteenth precinct.

"Where is that lazy, good for nothing-" he growled being cut off by the prompt female brunet standing next to him.

"Don't worry sir," she said in a patient voice, "I'm sure Jack will be here soon," said thirty four year old Camren Kopi,

Brian Dunkerman was never a man to be messed with; he had a fierce temper and didn't like having to wait for rookies. He wasn't very that eager to have to work with the cops, but if he had to they were going to have to do it his way. No questions asked. That's just the kind of old, hard-ass FBI agent he was, like it or not.

After being in the FBI for twenty years he had learned it was good to get to a case as soon as possible. So waiting around any longer for the rookie was just going to cripple them further. He glanced over at Camren over his shoulder; she was definitely hard working, but way too much by the book for his liking.

He lifted himself up form his leaning position on the car and began walking up the precinct steps.

"Where are you going sir?" Camren asked in surprise.

"We can't wait any longer, were just wasting time," he mumbled as he held the door open for her, she quickly caught up to his fast paced walking speed.

"Right," Camren quickly agreed.

"So," Brain said getting straight to business, "Who've we got his time."

"Um," Camren mumbled, "You weren't briefed sir?"

He came to a dead halt and whizzed around to look her strait in the eye, "No." he said forcefully, "Will you please do me the honors,"

Camren gulped, and gave a curt nod pulling out a tan file from the black office bag around her shoulder. He snatched the file and began his fast paced walk again, reading as he went.

"Detective Elliot Stabler," He read out loud.

"He's been a police officer for about twenty years now," Camren sated having memorized the file.

"Unit?" Brian asked pressing the elevator call button.

"Special Victims Unit," Camren adjusted her black rim glasses before continuing, "They deal with-"

"I know," Brian said putting a hand up to stop the brainiac, "sexually based offenses."

"He was officially reported missing at," she glanced down at her watch before stepping into the elevator with Brian, "eight- forty three"

Brian turned to face her in the elevator with raised eyebrows, "And we were just informed about this now?"

She looked downward, almost disappointed with herself, "Sorry, but the police commissioner had to sort it out with the FBI first the case is a little complicated…" She trailed off.

"How...?" he asked stressfully as he stared her strait in the eye.

"Well," she began a little shaky, "The person who reported him missing and the last person to be seen with him was his partner, Detective Olivia Benson."

Brain deeply sighed and rolled his eyes as they stepped out of the elevator, "Oh, boy."

"Factually," Camren began explaining, "It's a pretty easy case, but her unit says 'she would never do anything like that to her partner' in their statements."

"And you believe them?" He asked quiz fully.

"N-no," Camren stuttered, "But-" she began before being interrupted by her boss.

"Look," he said stopping before entering the bullpen, "There her team, of course they believe she couldn't do something like that,"

Camren gave a slow but understanding nod, before Brian leaned in close and whispered, "If mothers can kidnap their daughters and hide them away to protect them from **themselves,** then this lady can most certainly kidnap this guy," He took a long breath, "Partner or not."

"Right, of course," She said in her efficient manner.

"Good," he said turning around and briskly walking into the middle of the bullpen, "Now lets meet these cops…" he mumbled.

"Actually," said a slick voice behind him, " I prefer to be called John," Detective John Munch said.

Brian spun around to be greeted by an aging cop with thin -rimmed glasses and graying hair, holding his hand out, "And who might you be John?" He asked putting stress on his name and rudely objecting his hand.

John glared at him and opened his mouth to answer right when Cragen cut in between the two, saying from behind Brian, "He's one of my detectives, and may I ask who you are?"

Brian walked up to the elderly policeman holding his hand out, "FBI," he gripped Cragen's hand as if to imply something, "Special Agent in _charge _Brian Dunkermen."

"Ah yes," said Cragen letting go of the man's forceful grip, "You're here to help us find Detective Stabler,"

"No," He said taking a step closer to stare Cragen down strait in the eye, "I'm here to find Elliot Stabler, with your help,"

Cragen accepted the man's challenge; shooting him death glares of his own as he continued to talk, "This is my case…"

The captain stepped back a little, now wasn't the time for a fight with the feds, they needed to focus on finding Elliot, "I don't know how you guys operate at the FBI, but here we work as a team."

"Well lucky us," said Brian sarcastically, "We happen to have two separate teams,"

"This is your team?" said Captain Cragen, eyebrows shooting up as he looked surprisingly at lonesome Camren.

"No," Said Brain for once showing signs of being uncomfortable and looking at his shoes, "One of my agents is late…"

As if on cue a short, blond haired, male FBI agent clumsily came stumbling into the bullpen with papers flying out of his arms. "I'm here sir!" said the clumsy blond through a mountain of papers.

"Good, now will you stop acting like an idiot and represent the agency!" Brain yelled at him.

"Of course sir!" Jack replied quickly, letting the pile of papers he was carrying drop to the ground as he flung his arms to his side and stood at attention.

Camren let a small smile slip at Jack's mistake, while the other detectives quietly chuckled. Brian sighed, exasperated as he ran a hand through his hair, "Jack, look at the floor," he said slowly as if explaining to a young child.

Jack snapped his head down and realizing his mistake began to frantically pick up the mess of papers, "Sorry boss…" he mumbled.

Brian turned back to Cragen ready to get down to business, "So, what have we got so far?"

Elliot stirred slightly in his dreams as a shadowy figure watched from the corner of the dark room. He must have a killer headache right now; the stuff she gave him might have been just a little bit stronger then necessary. She snickered at his pain, emotionally and physically.

Elliot's eyes moaned as his eyes flickered open, "Morning sunshine," she said sarcastically, coming out of her den in the shadows.

"Y- you…" Elliot mumbled, staring in shock.

"Yes, darling its me your loving and caring ex-wife," She said plastering a bitter smile on her face as she twirled a gun around her finger.

"I can see how much you care by the handcuffs and the whole kidnapping thing," Elliot said teasing her, "It really shows your true colors."

Kathy snorted in disbelief, "Oh please Elliot," she became more cynical with every word, "I was the most caring wife of all! Waiting up for you every night, handling the kids all by myself, and I even put up with you cheating on me with that bitch! But now-"

Elliot suddenly interrupted her rant becoming very serious, "Olivia…" he whispered, "What did you do with her!" he shouted becoming more enraged by the minute.

Kathy laughed and put a controlling smirk on her face, "Wouldn't you like to know…" she leaned in about an inch away from his face, teasing him.

Elliot's brows furrowed, "Are you drunk?"

"So what if I am!" she shouted walking away and throwing her hands up in the air, "It's not like you care…"

"Kath," Elliot said quietly looking down at the ground, "It's not that I ever stopped caring its just-"

Kathy interrupted him shouting, "Its just that we kind of 'fell out of love'" Kathy waved the gun around in her drunken rage, "Bullshit!"

"It just the truth," Elliot said beginning to feel sorry for her, "And you need to get over this and move on…"

Kathy stopped her pacing and contemplated her ex-husband's last words. Finally she turned around and brought the gun up, "Your right Elliot," she cocked the gun, "And if I'm going I'm making sure to bring someone with me."

There was a loud shot fired and the smoking gun fell to the floor. Kathy dropped down to her knees as blood began to gush from her head; she lay there with a sad and sweet smile on her face. She had accepted death, and now she was.

Dead.

A/N- Shocking! Kinda, sorta… we all knew she was a little a loco! Anyway I'm going to Washington for about six days and I'm probably not going to be able to update! Sorry! But as soon as I get back chapters will be coming up! So until then please review your hearts out! And tell me if you like the Feds, cause I think there going to show up more in the story!


	9. Guiltless Murderer

A/N- this chapter is all in Olivia's viewpoint and shows how she feels about the last chapter, as it plays out in front of her. Here are some answers to your lovely reviews! (Thank you by the way for all of them!)

**Moonjava**- Thank you so incredibly much for continually reviewing and I'm very glad ya like it!

**Kateliz76**- Ok, wow you totally have long reviews which are so appreciated! To answer your first question, no Elliot cannot escape. If he could escape, wouldn't he be gone by now? Second question, of course there eventually going to find Olivia! There has to be friction between characters for the story to continue. And I also do like Kathy being the villain! (Although I must admit it was a little obvious!)

**CincyRedsAllTheWay05- **Thanks for all your awesome reviews! As for who shot Kathy or Kathy shot herself you have to read the chapter to find out!

**Tria246815-** I totally agree! Elliot's a hottie and should not be with Kathy! But I must say him being married causes me to like Elliot/Olivia way more! Because if they just got together without any obstacles the show would be way boring!

**Skater chic 13- **Right, I KNOW it was obvious! It was almost suppose to be obvious, cause it was so obvious! It would be stupid of me to think it not obvious! Thanks for your review anyway!

Olivia quickly found herself on the porch of Elliot's old house, now Kathy's. Whenever she went for a walk around the city to clear her head she would end up here about eighty percent of the time. How ironic considering that she was usually trying to clear her head of him. Dam Elliot, for being in her dreams when she didn't want him to be, and not here when she need him to be. No wonder Kathy accused Elliot of having an affair; she was here almost as much as Elliot was. She would have probably thought the exact same thing if she was in Kathy's position.

She paced back and forth on the wooden porch, thinking of what she could possibility ask… _did you kidnap your ex-husband? _Olivia sighed, the words even sounded stupid in her head. Olivia didn't even understand why she suspected Kathy in the first place, why in the world would Kathy want to kidnap Elliot?

'_Jealously.' _said the voice inside her head. No, Kathy couldn't pull off something like this by her. '_Hire a hit man.' _ Said the ever-cynical voice. Olivia winced at the thought that Elliot maybe have been hit by a hit man, but that may have been good considering whoever was behind this wasn't trying to kill him.

Olivia was awakened for her conversation with her conscious, from the loud voice of an obviously angry Kathy. She stepped towards the door, putting her ear on the cold glass to her the shouts clearer.

"I was the most caring wife of all! Waiting up for you every night, handling the kids all by myself, and I even put up with you cheating on me with that bitch! But now-"

Olivia's mouth dropped open, Elliot was in there. Kathy had brutally kidnapped Elliot and now was trying to frame her. She had to tell somebody, prove her innocence. But now Elliot was the most important thing and she had to get to him. Slowly she gripped the metal door handle and pressed the button down, opening it with an eerie creak.

She cautiously treaded into the dark hallway, spreading her hands out to examine the environment. It was pitch black except for a dim light shinning through the window, and a golden light peaking from the bottom of the basement door. Olivia silently made her way to the basement door, as her hand instinctively went to her gun. Muffled shouts could be heard from below her.

"_Are you drunk?"_

Olivia heard Elliot's distinct voice ask. She was right then immediately about to jump, but her common sense got the best of her. She could hear Casey's annoyed voice right now, 'there's not enough evidence.' If they wanted a conviction in the future Elliot would have to wait for more evidence, besides she already broke enough 'legal technicalities' by coming into the house.

"So what if I am! It's not like you care…" 

She could hear the hurt in Kathy's voice as the guilt began to sink in. She had to feel responsible for what had happened to Elliot, I mean if Kathy had never suspected they were together none of this would have happened. Elliot would be enjoying the day with his kids; relaxing and his wife would still be with him. Still love him. But now cause of her and all the emotions she's stirred up there's only a lonely bachelor, an enraged wife and their innocent children caught in the crossfire.

"Kath, It's not that I ever stopped caring its just-" 

'There he said her name, all the evidence Casey needs.' Olivia thought to herself triumphantly. She took one step down the basement stairs, hesitating when she heard Kathy's next words.

"Its just that we kind of 'fell out of love'. Bullshit!" 

Olivia owed Elliot time to talk to his wife, time to sort thing out. Time to figure out the mess she made of their family. Kathy was not only filled with angst and rage, she was pouring with regret. Regret of a love she could not keep, children she barley gets to see and regret of letting it all happen as she stood in the middle searching for someone to blame.

"It just the truth, and you need to get over this and move on…" 

Leave it to Elliot to provoke an already emotionally unstable kidnapper, and still tell the truth. Olivia shook her head disapprovingly as silence swept over the room. She could feel the rage, anger and pure hatred Kathy was feeling now for Elliot, but she wouldn't kill him.

She still loved him, and she did all of this just to show him, just for him to feel her pain. She wouldn't kill him because she couldn't. But the noise that Olivia heard next made her doubt everything she ever knew about love.

"Your right Elliot," she cocked the gun, "And if I'm going I'm making sure to bring someone with me."

Olivia jumped down the stairs two at a time, cocking her own gun as she went. And almost as if time had slowed down, she saw the scene unfold in front of her. Elliot had a look of horror and disbelief on his face as Kathy's gun rose. My fingers tightened on the trigger, ready to fire any second. Kathy looked like hell, there were dark circles under her eyes, and her hair was a disheveled like she hadn't brushed it in days.

But what looked the worst about her right then, were her eyes. Her eyes looked tired and weary, almost begging to be put out of their constant misery.

So as anxious drops of sweat poured down Olivia's face, that's exactly what Kathy did. She lifted the gun to her heart and gave Elliot one last forgiving smile, before pulling down on the trigger… to end her life.

A/N- Much to contrary belief Olivia did NOT kill Kathy! She would never in a billion years do something like that! The next chapter promises to be exciting and show everyone's reaction to Kathy's suicide. So keep on reviewing, cause reviews make me very happy.


	10. Someone to Blame

A/N- Thanks so much for all your awesome reviews! I promise next chapter I will have an answer to all of them. I really hope you like this chapter, I thought I would incorporate some of the other character's feelings as well as Olivia's.

Disclaimer- I don't own Law and Order: SVU, Dick Wolf does and I'm pretty sure he isn't going to give it to me… (tear)

Olivia's chest heaved up and down as she ran through the events that occurred in this very unreal day. She was sitting in an ambulance in front of Kathy's house, mindlessly listening to the sirens blaring around her. There was so much that had gone on in one day, it was getting harder by the second to comprehend. Just seconds ago she was screaming in her radio for an ambulance, and holding Kathy's limp body in her hands as blood gushed from the blond's head. She remembered Elliot falling unconscious seconds after Kathy shot herself, either from shock or the cold finally setting into hypothermia.

Anyway the police saw the situation it all came down to her. She knew the questions that were coming, and she knew they wouldn't be pretty. But what scared her is that if she'd have an answer to them. They had told her to wait for the detectives to come and take her statement she knew the process.

Detectives were going to come look over the crime scene, ask incriminating questions, tell her that it was 'ok' and act like they cared. Then when they went back to their precinct and mull over the number of things they could charge with their ADA. But in the end it's all the same, just another case and another heartless mistress tearing a family apart. She laughed sadly as she thought of the irony in the situation, cause she had done the same thing hundreds of times before. Dam karma.

Olivia gave a shaky sigh as she felt tears beginning to swell up in her eyes, she thought of how everything was going to be now, how it would never be the same. And it never would be the same. Once again the only thing she need in her life would never be there. Normalcy. From John and Fin's constant bickering, to Elliot's comforting smile when a particular case hit close to home. Funny, how all the trust and caring that took six years to build … came down in a few hours.

A voice to the right of her shook her out of her thoughts, "Olivia,"

Olivia turned her head startled at the voice's familiarity, "John?"

"Yeah," the aging detective said in a hoarse voice, "How are you doing?" he said taking a seat beside her in the already small ambulance.

"I'm…" She didn't really know how she was doing herself, "I'm holding up,"

He nodded his head slightly as he glued his eyes to his hands, "Good." there was a nervous silence for a second before he breathed in deeply and continued, "They took Elliot to the hospital," He paused looking up at her for a reaction, "He slipped into hypothermia for a while but he'll be ok,"

"That's good," she said simply. 'At least he'll be alright physically…' she thought to herself.

John sighed and ran his hand through his hair before finally spitting it out, "What happened Olivia?" he blurted out.

She opened her mouth to speak but closed it right away, unsure of what to say. Un able to hold it in any longer she let a silent tear stroll down her face, "She shot herself," Olivia whispered.

Rain began to fall through the night, piercing the ground so hard it sounded like nails falling from the sky. John pulled her into a caring embrace as her tears fell like the rain falling that night, cold and lonely. It wasn't romantic in any way and it wasn't supposed to be, it was there to remind her that unlike that rain… she wasn't alone.

"I- I could have saved her," Olivia choked out into John's shoulder.

He held her by the shoulders and looked strait into her water stained eyes, "There was nothing you could have done," he said clearly, "She did this to herself,"

She laughed sadly and looked up into the dark sky, "But you see there was something I could have done," she got up slowly and stepped out into the pouring rain, shouting at the top of her lungs, "This was all my fault in the first place!"

"What are you talking about?" he also shouted trying to be heard though the booming thunder.

Olivia tilted her head up towards the sky, closing her eyes almost trying to get the rain to wash away all her troubles, "She did all of this cause-cause," Olivia stammered out though the tears and rain, "Cause she thought I was having an affair with Elliot!"

John stepped out into the rain with her, "Olivia…"

Olivia now ragging with guilt towards herself screamed at John, "I'm just as guilty of killing Kathy as she is," John raised an eyebrow, "There's more ways to kill someone then pulling the trigger!"

He grabbed her arms gently and brought them to her sides before whispering to her softly, "Guilt is anger directed at ourselves—at what we did or did not do," he smiled at her warmly as he took a step closer to her, "You just want someone to blame… and its not you…"

John leaned in close almost as if to kiss her, but he turned away quickly. He couldn't do that to Olivia, she loved Elliot. And even though he did care for her she viewed him as an older brother nothing more. Besides she belonged with Elliot and to that to her now would only tear her apart even more.

He spun around, seeing the confusion in her eyes he automatically went for a safety net, his humor, "So Miss Benson I believe this case is cleared up, would you care to join me while I see how Detective Stabler is doing," he said wittily.

She smiled for the first time in a while as she followed him towards the car, "I'd love to Detective Munch,"

They were both soaked from the rain but he still remembered his manners, holding the door open for her. She stopped before entering the car and looked him right in the eye, "Thank you." And he knew that she meant it in more ways then one.

For that moment things felt pretty good, maybe cause she had just set down a body she had been carrying around for a while. Or maybe cause in those brief seconds she felt just a bit of it. A bit of normalcy, reminding her that it was going to be ok.

A/N- Great, so the next chapter is going to be the last chapter! It will have Elliot's reaction to the whole situation, as well as a very cute ending (if I may say so myself!)

Stay tuned and review…. Cause I've decided that I may change the ending based on your reviews!


	11. Perfect

Disclaimer- I don't own Law and Order: SVU or any of the characters.

A/N- I'm so sorry it took so long to update this but I wanted to make this last chapter… perfect (although it still isn't!) Its been so much fun writing this and I hope you all like the end!

**Tapmastflash22- **Wow, thank you so much for the compliment! I'm really glad you liked reading this story your insight was really appreciated!

**Future cop- **Yeah, I liked the FBI agents too! I'm so sorry that I didn't get incorporate more of them into the story, but thanks for your review anyway!

**Kateliz76- **Once again you have left me another review that has really helped me shape the story, asking questions that I didn't know of! Thanks a bunch for your help!

**Moonjava- **Thanks for all your reviews!

**CincyRedsAllTheWay05- **Even though you didn't revew my last chapter, I wanted to thank you for all your reviews too! Cause you review a lot, so thanks!

Beep. Beep. Elliot woke up groggily to the rhythmic beating of his heart monitor. He moaned in pain and rubbed is forehead he vaguely remembered what happened. The last thing he remembered was seeing Kathy's blood pooling on his basement floor, and Olivia telling him to hold on, that an ambulance was coming. But it didn't make it in time, did it, at least not for Kathy. After losing that much blood and losing that much heart, you're far beyond saving.

Elliot hated hospitals, especially having to stay in one. I mean how could you not hate them, usually you go there is if something absolutely terrible happened. Or in the least of cases a miracle, like the birth of a baby. And the idea of sleeping in the bed that someone's already died on didn't sound too appealing either. He shivered and fidgeted slightly at the thought that a life was lost on the very bed he was sleeping on a moment ago.

He closed his eyes and lay there motionless, trying to concentrate on what took place at Kathy's house. It came out a little sketchy, just flashes of moments and Kathy's voice yelling in a drunken rage. Unlike what you would think he felt not guilty, but calm. Like the sun had just set, and tomorrow he would be able to rise again new. The feeling of closure may not be a happy one but it was refreshing. And right now, he needed a paradigm shift more than ever. Although the biggest worry on Elliot's mind though was not his being able to handle it, but Olivia. She's developed an uncanny habit of blaming herself for people she can't save. It must be chewing her up inside to something like that happen right before her eyes.

As if on cue the hospital room door slowly opened a crack, and Olivia's head popped through. She smiled when she saw Elliot awake and opened the door fully, walking over to his bed.

"Hey, " she said sitting down in a chair by the bed, "How are you doing?" she asked gently.

"I've been better," he said casually, sensing her hesitation toward what really needed to be discussed.

"Good," Olivia gave a small nod, "Do you remember anything that happened?"

"Bits and pieces," Elliot took a deep breath, "She died didn't she." He said it more like a blatant fact rather then a question.

A trembling sigh escaped Olivia's lips, "Yes," she whispered looking down at Elliot's hands, almost afraid of what his reaction might be.

Elliot lifted her chin with two of his fingers and looked her straight in the eye, "This wasn't your fault-"

She cut him off with a scowl, "Isn't it though," She said defensively, whipping herself around to face the wall.

He ran a hand over his face and sat up in bed, "No," he stated clearly, "You always do this Olivia, you blame yourself."

She remained silent, got up and leaned against the wall still refusing to face him.

Elliot continued, "This just hit you hard, cause you knew the person this time."

Olivia spun around furious and almost horrified at his calmness toward the situation, "What do you mean 'this time'!" Olivia shouted, "This is your wife who killed herself, not one of our victims!"

"Ex-wife," Elliot corrected getting up from the hospital bed, "And I can talk about it so freely cause I've accepted it, and I'm going to move on."

She maintained her silence.

"Kathy would have wanted that," he said quietly, walking over to her.

He winced a little and faltered in his step, Olivia immediately ran over to him and supported him. "Thanks," He said cringing slightly obviously he was still sore.

No sooner did Olivia seat Elliot down on the bed, than her cell phone went off, "Benson," she answered swiftly flipping it open.

Nodding her head a couple of times she finally answered, "Right of course," talking as she opened the door, "I'll be there in a second." She flipped her phone off and shoved it in her pocket.

"Going some where?" Elliot questioned.

Opening the door slightly she inhaled sharply before continuing, "Yeah the captain needs me to answer some questions,"

"I want to finish this conversation Liv," he said with much emprise.

"We will," She paused hesitating, "Later." And with that she exited the room leaving a very worried Elliot behind her.

3 days later….

"Ow!" Olivia Benson waved her hand frantically in the air, cooking was definitely not her strength. Rushing to the sink she dosed it in cold water, breathing a sigh of relief. It had been three days since Elliot's kidnapping and Kathy's suicide, Elliot had still been in the hospital but he was discharged this morning. Olivia suggested that he come over for dinner, she was going to cook, Elliot's response was raising an eyebrow and putting a playful smile on his face, "You cook?" he said in disbelief. She had put her hand s on her hips and answered sarcastically, "Of course I cook," Olivia had said in mock stern, "I cook better then you do even."

She rolled her eyes and looked over at the smoking pot on the stove, hopefully Elliot wouldn't hold her to that statement. If anyone was watching Olivia she would look quite comical, there was a pot on the stove shaking uncontrollably, the oven with the roast was making the weirdest noises. And she didn't look that good either, her hair was in a frizzy mess, she was wearing a 'kiss the cook' apron and she had black suet marks all over her face. Looking over at the clock, she sighed in frustration, it was already seven twenty five Elliot was going to be here in five minutes. Olivia tried to look on the bright side thinking, 'Maybe he'll be late.'

Ding. Dong. She threw her oven mitt down with a loud, "Dammit!" A bit louder then she should have said that. Her hands flew over her mouth, making sure she didn't start getting into the real profanities. Slowly she brought her hands to her side and took a few calming breaths, trying to settle her nerves. They hadn't really _talked_ yet, it wasn't official that they were going to do it now but it's getting seriously hard to avoid. She untied her apron and took a second to straighten her hair; Elliot was starting to get worried so he called through the door, "Are you ok Liv?"

"Yeah I'll be there in a second," She answered walking out of the kitchen and over to the door. Olivia opened the door to be greeted by a very handsome Elliot and a dozen roses.

A smile light Olivia's face, "Wow, those are beautiful," she said as Elliot handed her the roses, "Come on in I'm …uh…. almost done with dinner," She said unsurely pointing towards the kitchen.

He put a casual smile on his face and took a seat on the sofa, "Please, take all the time you need, " Quickly slipping in there, "After all it needs to beat my cooking," he said boastfully.

Olivia tried to contain her laughter, looking at her pitiful situation, she was a complete mess and everything was burnt, man would she be a terrible housewife. "I'm go… going to go… go finish up in there, she said hurriedly whizzing off to the kitchen, afraid that if she stayed there longer looking at Elliot's confused face she might start rolling all over the floor from laughter.

The next few minutes consisted of Elliot aimlessly flipping through channels on the TV while Olivia frantically tried to take control of the situation in the kitchen. Elliot finally got bored and decided to go into the kitchen and have a little fun.

"You're burning the food," A warm voice whispered into Olivia's ear as she stood facing the stove. Surprised by the warm breath on her ear she quickly turned around to find Elliot standing uncomfortably close to her. He had an amused grin on his face, almost teasing her.

Feeling that she was standing a little too close to Elliot for her own good, she squeezed by him over to the oven, afraid she might get caught between Elliot and the stove. "Sorry about the wait, " She said pretending to fiddle with some of the buttons on the stove, "I just need to adjust some things here…"

Elliot tried to hold in his laughter putting a hand over his mouth; Olivia saw him and rolled her eyes, "Ok I can't cook for my life!" she said defeated, "Are you happy now?"

"Very much so," Elliot answered sarcastically, taking a step closer to Olivia.

"So I guess I should order take out?" Olivia asked looking at the phone.

He walked over to the oven stepping past Olivia, and looked into it then turning back to face her, "Unless you like your roast extra crispy,"

She shot him a playful glare, "Ha. Ha. Very funny, just keep laughing at my cooking and you'll find it stuffed down your throat."

Elliot winced slightly, "Sounds painful."

"Very." Said Olivia teasingly picking up the phone.

"Wait, Liv." Elliot said nervously, expression growing a bit pale.

"Yes?" she asked slowly putting the phone down.

He sighed ever so slightly and said the words every woman has nightmares about hearing, "We need to talk."

Olivia's mouth dropped open, she knew this was coming but not so quickly, "About?" she asked her voice hoarse.

"You know the 'about' Olivia." He said solemnly, hands behind his back.

"I do, " Said Olivia taking a seat, "And I wish I didn't." she said staring at the closest wall.

Taking a seat across from her at the table Elliot jumped right into it, "Do you remember what I said that night?"

"Which night," Olivia said grimly, "They were both very shocking nights…" She trailed off.

"The first one." Elliot said calmly.

Olivia blushed slightly some memories of the evening slipping back to her, "Most of it,"

"Good," He took a deep breath building up to what he was going to say. Olivia's eyes twinkled slightly and a slow smile graced her lips as almost expecting to hear the most incredible news escape his lips, "Cause were probably going to need you to testify in court, " He said abruptly.

"Oh," Said Olivia suddenly disappointed.

"AndthatIreallymeantitwhenIsaidIlovedyou," Elliot quickly rushed in before getting up and beginning to walk out of the kitchen.

"What!" said Olivia her chair falling behind her as she stood up.

He sighed deeply and turned around to face Olivia's astounded expression, "I love you…" Elliot mumbled.

Olivia's eyes widened and tears started to fall down her face, Elliot noticed this and turned around whispering, "I'm sorry, I'll just—"

But he never got to finish his sentence; Olivia put a hand on his arm startling him. He turning around and looked at her in utter confusion, "For what?" she asked as an enormous smile formed on her face and tears of joy followed it, "I've never been so happy,"

And just like that Elliot pulled her closer to him bringing her in to a soft sweet kiss. They broke after a couple of seconds, just molding into each other's arms. Holding each other closely, never wanting to let go after having to be apart for so many years.

"Elliot?" Olivia asked looking up form their embrace.

"Yeah?"

She looked straight into his crystal blue eyes and almost like a naïve child asked, "Can we stay like this forever?"

"Sure," Elliot answered pulling her close again.

They both knew that what they dreamed of was the impossible. And if that dream came true, forever was not enough. But for the moment, nothing else mattered, not the roast that was burning in the oven, not the opinion of their friends when they found out, not the world outside. All that mattered at the very second was that…they had each other, and they loved each other.

And it felt so amazing, it felt so right. For this one short and fleeting moment, everything was _perfect_.

A/N- Well that's the end! Please review and tell me what you thought of the end!


End file.
